Flaws vs. Function

For all intents and purposes, know that flaws are not physical. So we begin.

I'm not going to lie, I've always wanted to sing, "I don't know why you love me, and thats why I love you... you catch me when I fall..." to my significant person. At least I did before I was called to heal. I've had quite the journey with the mirror, sometimes feeling so unlucky I thought it was broken. My travels have brought me to a place of awareness as to what to look at when it comes to character, not only in myself but others.

Is it a flaw or is it just the way you function? A flaw is an imperfection while a function is the way you operate. You can still operate well with imperfections but when the way someone operates is so flawed, you lose the ability to function well if at all.

One is expected to have imperfections, in fact, someone who presents themselves as perfect is likely the reddest flag in the fucking world. However, someone is not expected to function so poorly that they are incapable of being part of a system. Let's say the system is a healthy relationship.

I want to use a series of examples to really hone in on my point here.

A Black person who doesn't feel at home within their own race is flawed. When that same Black person uses that flaw to date a white racist who talks shit about the Black race, the same race from which their Black ass mama birthed them, and not only allows that racism but has a child with that white racist... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who feels like they need to be idolized by others in order to feel a sense of importance is flawed. When that same person uses that need to be idolized to date or befriend younger people so they feel a sense of power over them, they are functioning in narcism... their flaw has just become as inoperable system.

A person who feels a need to constantly be in control is flawed. When that same person uses that need to be in control to manipulate others into doing what they want by various methods like what they say and even what they don't say, is also functioning out of narcism... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who feels the need to constantly be in sexual energy is flawed. When that same person uses that sexual energy to constantly have one night stands, multiple sex partners and unprotected sex, they are functioning out of several deadly sins... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who has codependency issues is flawed. When that same person uses that codependency to have multiple unhealthy relationships that lack boundaries or direction... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who has a weak will is flawed. When that same person uses that weak will to fall for any and every idea, plan, need, and illusion that is presented to them.. their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who has no backbone is flawed. When that same person uses that lack of backbone to bend and twist and turn for everyone around them because they are afraid of confrontation, abandonment or using their own voice... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who can't live in their own truth is flawed. When that same person uses that inability to be true to lie so much that it becomes a personality trait, even as far as creating an alternate persona on those lies... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who constantly has their eyes open for new opportunities can be flawed. When that same person allows those eyes to wander to everyone else's plate looking for whats better, they become an opportunist... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who doesn't want to mature is flawed. When that same person uses their immaturity to cause burdens in the lives of others... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person who sees the life of someone else and becomes jealous is insecure. When that same person uses that insecurity to plot and plan for ways to end the good things in that persons life so they feel better... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

A person with addictions is flawed. When that same person uses those addictions to avoid accountability for their life choices... their flaw has just become an inoperable system.

Flaws don't make someone unlovable. They actually make someone human and unconditional love says. I see your flaws and love you still. Now how those flaws function determine the health of that love. On whether that person has the capacity to operate in a healthy relationship or should even be considered for a relationship.

A system must be healthy to operate and a system can be healthy with imperfections. It's when those imperfections become so great that the system is a liability that we must throw it away.

****Post has not been proofread... I know I keep saying this but it's because I want to get used to publishing my thoughts... usually when I proofread I end up altering it so much I scrap it or I keep the post in the drafts.

We publishing the imperfect over hereeeeeeeee****